Thanksgiving cards are not essential, but they are a nice touch
to stay in touch this Holiday season. Most Thanksgiving cards feature
a me-to-you message such as "me like you" or "me
like you - let's eat."
Other Thanksgiving cards will feature a talking turkey with a
big smile on his face like he is somehow going to enjoy being killed
and eaten. If you knew you were going to be killed and eaten would
you do a big song and dance and walk around with big smile on your
face, and recite snappy little witticisms?
I don't think so. But these Thanksgiving cards seem to be popular
as is denial itself.
Thanksgiving cards are usually orange, sent in orange envelops
as if those left over from Halloween with the Halloween colors are
somehow not going to go to waste and be used up by the Turkey Day
holiday. Why else would we have two holidays with the same colors,
back to back?
Many Thanksgiving cards also feature pilgrims, big feasts and family
gatherings. There is nothing wrong with these themes for Thanksgiving
cards, but there need to be a few new ones with which to stock the
For instance, how about a line of vegetarian Thanksgiving cards
that feature Tofurkeys, Tofams and other tofu dishes on the cards?
Instead of the Beaver Clever family Thanksgiving card, why not the
dysfunctional family card with relatives fresh out of rehab, prison
or Thailand gender reassignment surgery?
What's wrong with a whole line of Thanksgiving cards for anorexics
or bulimics saying "Eat something for God's sake!" And,
how about a Thanksgiving card for your happy alcoholic Uncle Fred
that says "Wish you were beer"?
There are many other types of Thanksgiving cards that one can give
to family, friends and relatives. Some are funny, others sappy
and still others quite corny. The point is that if you find a
good, offensive Thanksgiving card, then sent it. Hey, it's the
holidays, a time to bring personal entertainment to new heights.