Thanksgiving 2007 is almost, but already we can tell you this -
it is on a Thursday this year. Because Thanksgiving 2007 is on a
Thursday, this means that the following day will be the busiest
shopping day of the year. Like my predictions so far?
As I hold the crystal ball, I also see that Thanksgiving 2007 will
be a time to be thankful for the Iraq War, which hasn't ended, more
celebrities in rehab and a few shocking news events that will bring
unknowns into the limelight. For Thanksgiving 2007 we will count
our blessings, which will include higher taxes, high gasoline prices
and a further decline in the housing market.
In 2007, Thanksgiving will be unseasonably hot due to global warming.
Kim Jong Il will have conducted another nuclear experiment by Thanksgiving
2007 and Iran will be in a showdown with the U. S. over weapons
For Thanksgiving 2007 there will be a new strain of bird flu, dog
flu, swine flu and kung flu that will wipe out several South Pacific
Islands and Equador. By Thanksgiving 2007 the earth will have stopped
rotating on its axis late one night and we'll all be bombarded with
ultraviolet rays and oddly enough manta rays as well.
On Thanksgiving 2007, Armageddon will be well on its way, there
will be several major typhoons, hurricanes, earthquakes and volcanic
eruptions and people will be tired of giving to the Red Cross. No,
wait, that was in 2006.
The good news is that some of the positive happenings that we will
be thankful for and acknowledge in our Thanksgiving 2007 dinner
prayers is that for one thing cows will have learned to milk themselves,
Dan Rather will be back on the air taking a run at Bush but this
time with falsified videotape and people will have tired of clubbing
baby seals for sport and will have turned to sea otters instead.
The last bit of news regarding Thanksgiving 2007 is that Oprah
and Barak Obama will have announced that they are running as Co-Presidents
of the United States, teachers will now be the culprits in many
school shootings and a new government study will announce that
donuts are actually health food. So, if you missed Thanksgiving
2006 or were passed out or in some other stupor, you'll have
loads to look forward to in the next year.